this is amazing setaria! it is true that women are treated as disposable devices, in all areas. i see it all the time, mostly with social media when it comes to female celebs. everytime women get dressed to go to an event, they have to deal with critics online and nasty comments about how their face/body is not perfect. sometimes i have to back up a little bit from those kind of things because it gets overwhelming and all-consuming. the world should be a kinder place and we should too. thank you for this!
setaria!!! INCREDIBLE! i think about this often and it pains me the way self hatred is projected between women. i wish we could all simply support each other.
you used such an incredible metaphor here with the phone upgrades. love you and your work, always!
We truly need to do better. It’s both surprising and disheartening to see how society has normalized comparing living, breathing human beings to lifeless objects. When did it become acceptable to reduce people to the level of phones—asking whether someone’s ex or current partner is an "upgrade" or "downgrade"? That kind of thinking is deeply demeaning and strips away the humanity in relationships.
you said it perfectly, comparing people to objects like phones is dehumanizing in the cruelest, quietest way. it reduces love, growth, and individuality into something transactional, like we’re all just products on a shelf. we deserve relationships rooted in respect. thank you for saying this. it needs to be heard more<3
This “upgrade/downgrade” mentality was/is so ingrained in be that whenever I talk to someone new, its always at the back of my mind. As I slowly recover from sever low self-esteem, I noticed that this “fear” was likely also a contributing factor in my avoidance to relationships. In my mind I would always be the “downgrade”. This one really hit close to home tbh.
I totally understand what you mean. I used to think like that too, and I had really low self-confidence. I always felt like others were so much further ahead than me, no matter what people said, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being “less than.” I’ve really been trying to let go of that mindset, and it’s definitely not easy. I hope we both can break free from that kind of thinking eventually☹️🫶🏻
We just live in a society where woman need to be the best in every category to not be compared to others and its just bc man have decided that for us. Its a shame bc men never try to be better, they just become more degrading and insulting. The best thing is just to stop trying to be better than a specific person, just be better for yourself.
so true kenza, honestly i think there’s still so much that needs to be fixed in our social environment, especially when it comes to women. at the very least, i’m grateful i get to voice my discomfort here. thank you for being here with meee
really loved reading this. it’s just so real. nowadays people treat other human beings like stuff, like upgrades, without caring about who they actually are.
“since when did human beings—complex, emotional, evolving beings—become something you could upgrade or downgrade like a phone plan?” sadly since the beginning of time. we commodify women like objects, selling their bodies and insecurities for profit, it’s odd. it’s the patriarchy
this is so real! and i've even felt that way about myself in the past. ESPECIALLY as a teen. getting into a new relationship and worrying that people were secretly analyzing and scoring me against exes. i've largely moved past being overly concerned with how others perceive me, now. but i definitely still hear other people say this in passing about other couples. and it's not even just younger people that do it. it's sad how normalized this is.
"We scroll through lives, swiping left and right, not realizing we’ve started comparing our hearts the way we compare phone specs." My friends keep telling me to join dating apps, but I always refuse, for two reasons. First, I hate the idea of having to meet my person by comparing them with others. Second, I hate to think about people comparing me to others to choose if I am worth their time or not. I know it is hard to meet people because in today's society, everyone uses social media to look outside their bubble instead of going outside. I don't want to have to tell them my zodiac sign or my job straight away, I want them to discover me as we spend time together. No one goes up to people and starts a conversation anymore. But I am a hopeless romantic, and I still wish for a meet-cute.
You should have asked her “ If she was an upgrade or downgrade of her past self “🌚
i… am speechless… YOU SHOULD HAVE COME HANG OUT WITH ME BACK THEN!😭
😂😂😂
Cause why would you say that 😂😭
This is so true. You expressed exactly what I was thinking! Loved this
thank you catherine🫶🏻
This is all so so so true, it’s upsetting to see women putting one against another (especially when it involves a man)
(especially when it involves a man) UGHH YES
this is amazing setaria! it is true that women are treated as disposable devices, in all areas. i see it all the time, mostly with social media when it comes to female celebs. everytime women get dressed to go to an event, they have to deal with critics online and nasty comments about how their face/body is not perfect. sometimes i have to back up a little bit from those kind of things because it gets overwhelming and all-consuming. the world should be a kinder place and we should too. thank you for this!
omg thank you for sharing your thoughts on this post. THANK YOU SM 🫶🏻🫶🏻
setaria!!! INCREDIBLE! i think about this often and it pains me the way self hatred is projected between women. i wish we could all simply support each other.
you used such an incredible metaphor here with the phone upgrades. love you and your work, always!
RHIANA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU🫶🏻🫶🏻
We truly need to do better. It’s both surprising and disheartening to see how society has normalized comparing living, breathing human beings to lifeless objects. When did it become acceptable to reduce people to the level of phones—asking whether someone’s ex or current partner is an "upgrade" or "downgrade"? That kind of thinking is deeply demeaning and strips away the humanity in relationships.
you said it perfectly, comparing people to objects like phones is dehumanizing in the cruelest, quietest way. it reduces love, growth, and individuality into something transactional, like we’re all just products on a shelf. we deserve relationships rooted in respect. thank you for saying this. it needs to be heard more<3
The title to this is absolute madness and I love it
aaaa thankyouuu🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
This “upgrade/downgrade” mentality was/is so ingrained in be that whenever I talk to someone new, its always at the back of my mind. As I slowly recover from sever low self-esteem, I noticed that this “fear” was likely also a contributing factor in my avoidance to relationships. In my mind I would always be the “downgrade”. This one really hit close to home tbh.
I totally understand what you mean. I used to think like that too, and I had really low self-confidence. I always felt like others were so much further ahead than me, no matter what people said, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being “less than.” I’ve really been trying to let go of that mindset, and it’s definitely not easy. I hope we both can break free from that kind of thinking eventually☹️🫶🏻
We just live in a society where woman need to be the best in every category to not be compared to others and its just bc man have decided that for us. Its a shame bc men never try to be better, they just become more degrading and insulting. The best thing is just to stop trying to be better than a specific person, just be better for yourself.
so true kenza, honestly i think there’s still so much that needs to be fixed in our social environment, especially when it comes to women. at the very least, i’m grateful i get to voice my discomfort here. thank you for being here with meee
A good reminder to never commodify the people around us! Thank you for sharing!
exactlyyy, thank you too for reading it!!!
really loved reading this. it’s just so real. nowadays people treat other human beings like stuff, like upgrades, without caring about who they actually are.
i’m not an iphone, i’m a person.✨
sofyyy thank you so much for reading it i’m seriously sooo happy I LOVE YOU
🫶🏻🫶🏻
I’m not an iPhone I’m a person 👏 👏 👏
i was hesitant to write it at first but it ended up getting written anyway hahaha thank you for being here!!
“since when did human beings—complex, emotional, evolving beings—become something you could upgrade or downgrade like a phone plan?” sadly since the beginning of time. we commodify women like objects, selling their bodies and insecurities for profit, it’s odd. it’s the patriarchy
this is so real! and i've even felt that way about myself in the past. ESPECIALLY as a teen. getting into a new relationship and worrying that people were secretly analyzing and scoring me against exes. i've largely moved past being overly concerned with how others perceive me, now. but i definitely still hear other people say this in passing about other couples. and it's not even just younger people that do it. it's sad how normalized this is.
"We scroll through lives, swiping left and right, not realizing we’ve started comparing our hearts the way we compare phone specs." My friends keep telling me to join dating apps, but I always refuse, for two reasons. First, I hate the idea of having to meet my person by comparing them with others. Second, I hate to think about people comparing me to others to choose if I am worth their time or not. I know it is hard to meet people because in today's society, everyone uses social media to look outside their bubble instead of going outside. I don't want to have to tell them my zodiac sign or my job straight away, I want them to discover me as we spend time together. No one goes up to people and starts a conversation anymore. But I am a hopeless romantic, and I still wish for a meet-cute.
omg i am so excited to read these